Baby Photos
by Pokelolmc
Summary: When going to the DWMA alongside Colonel Roy Mustang to do negotiations with Lord Death, Maes Hughes meets possibly the only other father as obssessed and passionate as him and the two of them have chats, and more 'importantly', share photos of their 'adorable' and 'gorgeous' daughters. (Twoshot). Rated T for the slight language and Maka Chops. (Will later get a sequel).
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello! Here is some random twoshot that came to mind while watching an episode of FMA (2003). I wanted to go back to the old FMA episodes and see Fullmetal vs Flame again, and when Hughes unveiled the giant picture of his daughter…PRICELESS XD! But then I was randomly thinking of Fullmetal Alchemist and Soul Eater at the same time and it hit me about how Spirit really loves Maka, then the idea of Hughes and Spirit talking to each other about their daughters in embarrassing concepts came randomly to me afterwards and…VOILA! This twoshot was born! I also went through the SE+FMA crossover section of the website and found a lack in oneshots and twoshots. Nearly all of the fanfics in that section were multiple chapters and long stories, so I thought that the section also needed a random oneshot/twoshot or two to balance out the mix. **

**By the way, the canon story of Fullmetal Alchemist is set in the early 1900's, but Soul Eater is set in modern times, so I have had to make some adjustments to time in this twoshot. This adjustment being: Instead of the world of alchemy being on the other side of the gate from Earth and both worlds being in early 1900's, the world of alchemy (Amestris and its neighbouring nations) are on Earth (as a small continent). Amestris and its neighbours however, stayed isolated from the rest of the world for a long time. No one went overseas and no tourists came to them to acknowledge that there were countries besides Amestris and its neighbours (ie. Xing, Drachma etc.), so in isolation, the countries that were in the world of alchemy during the FMA cannon (that in **_**this **_**story are on Earth) didn't keep up at all with modern government and technology, and ran in the style of technology from the early 1900's, but the time is in modern times, and the other countries in the world are far ahead in technology than Amestris, Xing and the rest of the FMA countries. Being cut off from the rest of the world, the FMA countries were the only ones who used alchemy (and Alkahestry for the Xingese), but over time the FMA countries opened up, while still keeping their early 1900's technology, and they started to travel and get to know other countries. So (*cough*HOPEFULLY*cough*) that should clear up the time setting problem without causing a time paradox. Pretty random.**

**How many times did I say 'random' and 'randomly'? Mehh... WHO CARES?!**

**Btw, the first parts/chapter will be Roy and Maes being escorted to the Death Room, so it will be a bit lengthy, which is why it is a twoshot. I originally planned to make it a oneshot, but the little 'build up' to the negotiation was a lot longer than an initial oneshot before I even got to the good bits, so I decided to make it a twoshot instead. So in the next chapter the humour and Hughes+Spirit friendship actually start to kick in.**

**Yes. This is decently lengthy twoshot.**

**Enjoy :)**

Up the stairs to the DWMA walked two adult figures in blue military uniforms. The sun was laughing, its hot breath heating the backs of their necks and its light shining off the fine chains of their beautifully made silver pocket watches. Their black military boots made thumping footsteps on the long steps as they neared the top. One of the figures was a man who had short, black hair that drooped down and wore a pair of white gloves (that had transmutation circles etched on them) on his hands. His eyes were a dark grey and were squinting in the sun. The other figure was a man who had black, spiked hair that was slightly slicked back and to the side. He wore a pair of rectangular glasses in front of his hazel eyes. He had what appeared to be the start of a beard (or just small facial hair) on his chin. The two men were still walking to the top of the steps leading to the Academy main entrance.

"It sure is hot!" the spectacled man, whose name was Maes Hughes, wiped a bit of sweat off his forehead.

"At least it's not raining" the gloved man, called Roy Mustang, replied. "We'd be soaked thoroughly and my gloves wouldn't be able to ignite any flames to warm and dry us off."

"So, what do you think they do here?" Hughes asked, turning to Roy. "At this place we're heading to. They called it the DWMA didn't they?"

"Yes." Roy answered. "DWMA stands for 'Death Weapon Meister Academy'. It was founded by the Grim Reaper, Death himself, in order to prevent another demon called a Kishin from being born. The academy trains teenage students who are weapons; people who can turn into weapons and meisters; people who can wield weapons. The students are taught how to fight against Kishin eggs; people who are evil and have become inhuman by straying off the path of humanity and eating countless human souls. Meisters and weapons partner up in order to kill these kishin eggs. A meister can make their weapon partner into a powerful weapon called a Death Scythe; a personal weapon of Death himself, if the weapon eats 99 kishin egg souls and 1 witch's soul."

"Eating souls?" Hughes repeated. "That sounds really awkward. And people turning into weapons?! That sounds impossible! Not to mention _also_ weird and frea– wait… did you just say that this academy was founded by the_ GRIM REAPER_?!"

"Yes." Roy answered blankly. "So?"

"So?!" Hughes freaked out, and they only had a few steps to go until they got to the top. "Grim reapers are death gods! They escort people's souls to the afterlife! If we screw up at this, Death could rip our souls right out of our bodies without breaking a sweat! He could take the souls of my gorgeous wife and adorable daughter! Reapers are really scary and they feel like death and they don't show mercy and–" he completely stopped and froze on the spot as he and Roy stood at the top of the stairs and eyed the person waiting for them in front of the DWMA main entrance with the utmost curiosity.

The person that was waiting for them was a boy who looked to be about fifteen. He wore a black formal suit with a white dress shirt underneath. The black suit had white dashes going down the front of the suit top and shoulder seams and the boy wore a neck pin/brooch shaped like a cartoonish skull in place of a tie. What was most curious about him though, was his physical appearance, not what he wore. The boy was lean. He had pale skin and his eyes were two-toned gold. His hair was jet black and it had his most distinguishing features– 3 bleach white stripes that were only on the left side of his head, stopping exactly halfway in between the left side of his head and the right.

Roy walked up to the peculiar boy and greeted him.

"Hello." He greeted. "I'm Colonel Roy Mustang, from the State Military of Amestris. We're here for negotiations with Lord Death."

"We were expecting you." The boy stated, his face holding a plain expression. "I'm here to escort you."

Roy shook the boy's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Roy Mustang." The boy said "My name is Death the Kid". He then turned to look at Hughes. "And who is your companion?"

Roy also turned to look at Hughes, who was still frozen still at the top of the steps in his weird-looking position with an 'eh?' expression on his face.

"Oh! That's Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes." Roy replied. "The Fuhrer, King Bradley, sent Hughes and I here in his place." Hughes finally snapped out of his curious stare, moved out of his silly position and hurried over next to Roy.

"Yeah." Hughes said casually. "My name's Maes Hughes." He shook Kid's hand, and as soon as the boy's pale hand touched his, the Lieutenant Colonel started to feel creeped out and shivers went up his spine.

The boy's hand felt like cold death.

"I'm Death the Kid." Kid introduced himself to Hughes. The raven-haired boy raised an eyebrow as Hughes stepped back a little and shivered slightly after Kid had let go of his hand.

"Oh." Kid said bluntly, realizing why Hughes looked a bit freaked. "Sorry about that." He turned around to face the Academy and gestured for Roy and Maes to follow him. The two Amestrians followed Kid through the seemingly empty corridors of the school.

"Hey, I got a question for ya." said Hughes when they walked past the entrance to a classroom for the umpteenth time. "Why is no one here?"

"People are here." Kid answered. "They're just in class that's all."

"Interesting." Roy said. "It's hard to imagine that people here teach children how to fight monsters that could kill ordinary adults."

"Thing is though," Kid put in. "We're not ordinary children. We're weapons and meisters. I'm a one-star meister."

"One-star?" Roy repeated. "So you're not that good?"

"Oh no, I'm quite good." was Kid's reply. "I don't like bragging or anything, but I'm actually one of the top three student meisters currently at this academy, the best student meister currently here would have to me one of my friends, Black Star. His ego is big, but when it comes to fighting, he can beat practically any _one_ of us here if he focuses."

"Then why are you ranked as a one-star if you're one of the top 3?" Roy asked. "That sounds like a low rank."

"It's because in this academy, there are two different types of classes –the Normally Overcome Target –or NOT class and the Especially Advanced Talent –or EAT class." Kid explained. "90 per cent of the students at this academy are in the NOT class, which focuses on teaching how to fight, but the NOT class never goes out and actually _does_ any actual fighting against kishin eggs, the EAT class does the actual fighting. The students of the EAT class go out on missions to hunt down kishin eggs. I'm a member of the EAT class and I've been on quite dangerous missions with my weapon partners, who are twin pistols. One of my hardest was a runaway train in the Sahara desert, where an enemy was after a magic tool. In the EAT class there are three ranks of meisters –One star, two star and three star. All of the EAT class meisters, including myself, are one stars. A meister usually only becomes a two star when they make their weapon partner a Death Scythe, or if they become very skilled and they gain the rank of two star when they graduate. Very rarely does an EAT student become a two-star outside of these circumstances. The only three star meisters known are DWMA teachers, such as Sid Barrett and also Franken Stein, who is the most skilled meister to ever graduate from the DWMA. Stein teaches the only EAT class in the school –Class Crescent Moon. There's only one EAT class because only 10 per cent of the students make it up and there are several NOT classes because there are lots more NOT students."

"Very interesting." Roy said.

Roy, Kid and Hughes were walking down a corridor when they came to a huge board on the wall that had lots of tags lined on it in rows. Some of the tags were marked 'In Progress' and 'Completed', while others weren't marked at all. Hughes stared up at the huge board with starry eyes (namely because he thought it would be a good spot to hang a giant picture of his daughter Elicia).

"That's the mission board." Kid said; noticing Hughes was staring at it. "It's where meisters and weapons from the EAT class go to pick missions. When they pick one, they take it to the reception. But if it's a mission that requires extra briefing or is rated quite difficult, they will need to get special permission to undertake it." The three walked past the mission board and down to the end of the corridor where there was a set of tall double doors. Kid pushed open both doors (obviously for symmetry reasons) and stepped into the big hallway behind it. Hughes and Roy followed behind him, and Roy shut the doors behind them. The two Amestrians were surprised by the appearance of the hallway that they were in.

The floor of the hallway was made up of creamy-white bricks and the floor outside the hallway appeared to be a sandy, dirt-looking substance. What was most peculiar about the hallway was that there were no solid walls or ceiling, and that in place of said walls and ceiling was a long line of…

Guillotines.

Huge, oddly-coloured, guillotines.

Roy completely hid his nerves about the guillotine gates he was under by putting an index finger to his chin and looking up at them with a comment of "The architecture is certainly… interesting."

Hughes, meanwhile, was shivering and holding onto Kid's shoulders with shaking hands.

"Those guillotines aren't going to fall on us are they?!" he asked with a panicked expression.

Kid sighed.

"No." he replied. "No they're not."

Roy and Kid walked on, but Hughes stood frozen, his legs refused to take him any further. The raven-haired boy and man both looked back at Hughes, and before Maes knew it, Kid's vice-like grip was on his arm as fast as lightning and the boy was nearly _dragging_ the Lieutenant Colonel along (Hughes' clothes weren't dragging on the ground or anything, of course. He was just standing up and Kid was pulling him along.).

Hughes than started to walk himself, thus stopping the dragging and Kid slowed down, so they were both walking, but Kid's grip was still on Hughes' arm. Hughes took the time to think.

'Man, Kid is strong.' He thought. 'His grip is strong, really vice-like. A hell of a lot stronger grip than you would expect from someone of his age and lean physique. Most people would think his grip was very loose, seeing as how his hands are not very thick, and they would expect his _actual_ gripping strength, if they ever witnessed it, to be that of a strong adult. I wonder how his grip is so strong; he doesn't look like he's very athletic. He looks like someone who would spend a lot of time inside writing or something like that. For someone with _his _lean frame, he's got the strongest grip I've ever seen. _No_, for someone his entire _age_ he's got the strongest grip I've ever seen! The only person I think could match that strength is Edward Elric, and not the grip of Ed's _normal_ arm, the grip of his _automail_ arm! Kid's grip is astonishingly strong...almost…super_human_…'

Hughes used his free hand to try and pry Kid's hand off his arm, but Kid's grip was too strong for him. Though, that wasn't the only reason Hughes stopped trying to free his arm from the boy's grip. The moment Hughes touched Kid's hand, a small feeling of cold death ran through him, it was the same feeling he got when he shook Kid's hand at the Academy main entrance. It was a small feeling, but it was enough to send shivers up the Lieutenant Colonel's spine. Hughes pulled his hand back off Kid's quickly. Kid and Roy both looked at him.

"Man! What on Earth is _up_ with you?!" Hughes asked with a mix of curiosity and astonishment and also a small bit of panic. "I mean, your _skin_ is _sickeningly pale_, you're _eyes_ are _two-toned_ and _golden_ _coloured_, you've got an _unbelievably _strong _vice-like grip_ and your _touches_ feel like _cold death_! No offense or anything, but it's kinda freaky!"

"Oh. Right." Kid looked down at the floor, already knowing how Hughes would react.

"Hmm." Roy hummed. "I noticed that _too_. I don't want to offend you, but I think there's something you might want to tell us."

Kid removed his hand off Hughes' arm and sighed.

"Will you promise not to freak or anything?" Kid asked seriously. "Especially you Maes? Judging from what you were saying near the top of the steps."

Roy nodded and Hughes followed suit.

"Well," Kid began, he then sighed. "Where do I even _begin_? I'll just have to cut to it, since we can't waste too much time, seeing as how you're here to negotiate with my father."

Roy and Hughes both stared at Kid.

Things began to add up in both of the Amestrians' heads.

"W…Wait a minute." Hughes began, with a freaked expression on his face. "You just said that Roy and I were here to negotiate with your _father_." He then thought of something and began to laugh in relief. "Ha ha ha! Ah phew! Maybe we misheard something back at Command, and we're actually here to negotiate with one of the higher up staff, who is your father! Ah ha! Oh man! I thought at first that we were here to negotiate with the headmaster, who's the grim reaper himself, but since you talked about us negotiating with your father, we're actually here to negotiate with one of the _other_ staff! Phew! I thought we were gonna be negotiating with the headmaster!"

"You _are_ negotiating with the headmaster."

Hughes' smile was immediately wiped off his face and Roy stood their blinking. The Lieutenant Colonel's expression was changed from relieved immediately to shock and fear, then it changed again, this time to confusion.

"What?" Hughes raised an eyebrow, confused, Roy was also. "But I thought you said we were negotiating with your father?!"

"You _are_."

Hughes' face paled with fear.

"N…No way!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide with shock. "But that means… the headmaster is your father!"

"Yes." Kid answered, his eye twitching in irritation at just how long it took Hughes to figure it out.

"B-b-but the headmaster is..." Hughes was freaking out. He backed away from Kid by a step and pointed at the unusual boy. "You! You're the grim reaper's _SON_!"

"Congratulations for finally connecting A and B." Kid said sarcastically. He then stated plainly the truth in its most utter form. "Yes. I'm Death's son. I'm not human. I'm a grim reaper like my father."

"So _that's _why you're skin's pale, eyes are two-toned yellow and you're grip is superhuman." Roy was glad to jump to conclusions.

Kid nodded. He then turned to Hughes, who was shaking scared behind Roy.

"Oh yes, and by the way." Kid said to the shaking Maes. "My father is not how you think he is, and we grim reapers aren't ruthless, menacing, shadow-like beings who take people's lives merely because of our own opinions, though we _could_ easily pluck your soul right out of your body, but we don't do that at all unless we're reaping someone who's already dead in order to let them pass on. My father and I exist to bring balance, order and peace into this world."

Hughes' calmed down a bit and Roy knew that Kid had heard Maes' mini rant about his idea of grim reapers at the top of the Academy steps.

"Peace and order?" Hughes asked, confused. "But I thought grim reapers were–"

"You're thinking of stereotypical death gods from old folklore." Kid said. "Trust me; my father is not the sort of reaper you're thinking of."

"Then what's he like?" Hughes asked.

"Oh, you'll see." Kid answered. "We're here now: The Death Room."

The young reaper walked out the end of the guillotine hallway and into the Death Room, with Roy and Hughes following behind.

When Roy and Hughes saw the Death Room, they could not _believe_ what they were seeing.

It was a room that had a round platform on it. The 'sky' of the room seemed to go on forever, like the land around the platform, which had lots of irregular, black crosses on it. On the platform there was a tall mirror. The Death Room itself, it seemed, did not fit its somewhat dark name at all.

Kid walked up onto the platform, while Roy followed behind with no doubts and Hughes followed reluctantly.

"Father, the two military officers from Amestris are here." Kid said. Death nodded to his son in response. Roy and Hughes stopped following Kid from behind and got onto the platform with the young reaper, standing next to him. Hughes was able hide his surprise towards what the reaper looked like, as was Roy.

"Well done Kiddo~!" Death chimed. "Nice job! Now, you should be getting back to class. I'm sure good old Stein wouldn't want you missing out on too much of the lesson!"

"Yeah. If I don't hurry, I might walk in and end up just _barely_ dodging a flying scalpel if I'm not careful. " Kid replied. "Bye father." He exited the Death Room. He stopped briefly before his eye twitched (at the sight of minute asymmetry) but the thought of being late (even though Stein knew he was escorting the military officers) to Stein's class gave him the motive to start walking off again. Soon the younger reaper was out of the room.

'No way.' Hughes thought. 'This is the grim reaper, Death himself? I thought he'd be pretty scary. Maybe he just got used to being around us humans all the time and changed in order to make people more comfortable when being near him? Yeah, that's it!'

Next to Death was a man with red hair and blue eyes who was dressed in a dark green suit with a cross-shaped tie of the same colour.

"Well," Lord Death said. "Would we like to get introductions started?"

Roy nodded and turned to look at Hughes, as if giving cue for him to introduce himself.

"Well," Lord Death said, deciding to start things off. "As you already know, I'm the grim reaper, Death, and the founder, as well as headmaster, of this Academy: The DWMA." He brought out one of his thick, white hands and gestured to the red-haired man next to him. "This is Spirit Albarn, he's the current Death Scythe stationed here in North America and is also my main Death Scythe." The red-haired man, now known as Spirit, gave a quick wave, well, it was more like he held his hand up like he was waving, but didn't move his hand from side-to-side, basically a 'wave' without properly waving. "And you met my son before, Death the Kid. He was the one who brought you here. I assumed though that he already introduced himself to you earlier."

Roy nodded and cleared his throat. "Well, we're from the State Military of Amestris. The leader of the Military, Fuhrer King Bradley, couldn't come. So he sent us in his place. I'm Colonel Roy Mustang. I'm not only a Colonel, but I'm also a State Alchemist, the Flame Alchemist."

"I'm Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes." Hughes introduced. "I head the investigations division in the State Military."

"Well, we might as well get things started." Lord Death said.

The negotiations went on for a while.

IN CLASS CRESCENT MOON

Death the Kid walked into the room only (thank God/Truth/Death/Insert-whatever-you-call-God-here/ Insert-a-random-other-word-here-if-you're-Atheist) to miss a flying scalpel by a centimetre.

The whole class's attention was brought to the young reaper.

"Don't stare or you'll all drop dead of small pox." Stein said randomly.

Everyone stared.

Awkward silence.

Then they heard a fit of laughter.

Black Star. (Well, what_ else _sounds like the combination of an insane kookaburra and a hyena with a head cold?)

**LOL XD. Spirit and Hughes finally get down to good old babyphoto business next chappie! :D**

**Bai! See ya for chapter 2!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hiya! Here is the 2****nd**** (and last part) of this twoshot! (Why do you think it's called a **_**two**_**shot? I mean, really?) I'm terribly sorry for keeping you waiting! And thanks to the people who reviewed, followed and favourited!**

**So, all I can say is… **

**It's here.**

**What we've all been waiting for…**

**GET READY FOR SOME HUGHES AND SPIRIT AWESOMENESS! XD (And a little mentioning of Ed and Al for fun :D)**

**Random Did You Know fact of the day:**

**Did you know that if Death the Kid wrote his entire name in capitals, all the letters would be symmetrical? I'm serious! Take a look at each letter and you'll find they're all symmetrical in capitals! Some of them are only symmetrical when cut in half vertically, some only when cut in half horizontally, but they're all still symmetrical!**

**Death the Kid (no symmetry D:)**

**DEATH THE KID (symmetry! :D)**

**ANYWHO!**

Chapter 2

**Normal POV**

The negotiations with Lord Death were over, and Roy Mustang and Maes Hughes were exiting the DWMA, with help from the death scythe Spirit Albarn, of course, seeing as Kid was now in class.

They had made it to the main entrance when Spirit gave the two Amestrians a wave.

"What are you gonna do now?" Spirit asked. "Your flight back to Amestris is in 4 hours, you have plenty of time to kill."

"We're going to have something to eat." Roy answered, without even turning around. "Let's go Hughes." He turned around only to find Hughes right in front of Spirit.

"Hughes, what are you doing?" the Colonel asked, slightly irritated.

"I _really_ need to show you something. It's important." Hughes said to the Death Scythe, his eyebrows furrowed in seriousness and a glare shining on the lenses of his glasses; which reminded the redhead Albarn of a certain professor. Roy knew where this was going, and he didn't want to see it again.

Hughes then gained a cheerful, admiring look and pulled out a little envelope; opening it up in less than a second and a long slip of paper with photos going down it unfolded and hung from the envelope, reaching the ground. "Take a look at my gorgeous wife Gracia and my adorable little daughter Elicia! AREN'T THEY SO LOVELY?!" Maes exclaimed; the glare fading from his glasses, revealing a pair of shining hazel orbs behind them.

Most people who Hughes showed the photos to, as Roy Mustang knew, just either got irritated and walked off or got annoyed and growled at Hughes to get lost and go back to work. However, it seemed, to the Colonel's surprise, that Spirit was a _complete_ exception.

"AWW!" Spirit squealed. "THE DAUGHTER IS ADORABLE!" it was _his_ turn to boast about his family with shining eyes (think about his shiny-eyes face from Soul Eater episode 40 when he sees Medusa's baby bloomers/pumpkin panties). "You know, I have a _gorgeous_ daughter called Maka! She's a one-star meister in this Academy's EAT class! She's so smart and skilled, just like her mama, Kami!"

Hughes got the same shiny-eyed face as Spirit. "REALLY?!" He exclaimed in excitement.

"YEAH!" Spirit answered equally as excited. He pulled out a photo of his daughter from her fifteenth birthday (Maka didn't want him at the celebration so Spirit had to kinda stalk his daughter in order to get the picture).

"OH MY GOSH!" Hughes exclaimed. The two of them did a high five with both hands and sang in perfect unison "Our daughters are wonderfuuuuull~!

Lord Death came out to the main entrance and stood next to Roy.

"Looks like Hughes found a kindred spirit." The flame alchemist said plainly, both he and the reaper sweatdropping. "No pun intended."

"Hey, Roy!" Hughes called to the Colonel with a wave. "I'm gonna go with Spirit for a while. We'll meet back up here okay? See ya later!"

He and Spirit ran down the Academy steps while Lord Death and Roy Mustang both stood at the main entrance, right next to each other.

"Those two are so alike." The grim reaper and state alchemist both said at the same time, sweatdropping once more.

Spirit and Hughes babbled on about their families until they got to the Death Scythe's apartment. Spirit turned the key in the lock and flung the door open with a loud _slam_. Spirit rushed to his bedroom and pulled out a photo album. He grabbed Hughes' wrist until the Lieutenant Colonel followed by himself. Both of them went back up to the Academy, which was no more than a ten minute walk, seeing as how Spirit was a Death Scythe and he needed to live close to the DWMA in case of an emergency where he was needed by Lord Death. When they got back to the Academy, they sat on seats in one of the hallways and began babbling away even more.

"So this is Elicia when she was born," Maes said with starry eyes, showing his new found friend a picture of Elicia as a newborn infant. "And this is her when she turned three AAAAAH! ISN'T SHE ADORABLE!"

"REALLY!" Spirit squealed.

"This is my wonderful Maka when _she_ was born!" Spirit made his classic 'ooh-it's-Medusa-wiff-adorable-widdle-baby-bwoomer s!' face and opened to the first page in the album. The first photo was Maka as a baby, wrapped up in a cloth as olive green as her eyes and she was sucking her thumb.

"AWW!" Maes exclaimed. "THAT'S ADORABAWE! She's sucking her thumb!~" he adapted the same stupid-and-somewhat-creepy-yet-absolutely-make-you -piss-your-pants-laughing-hilarious facial expression as Spirit.

**(A/N: Try to imagine Hughes adorning the baby bloomers face without grinning or busting out laughing. I bet it's impossible XD. If you DO manage to do it, then watch on YouTube a video about John Swasey (Lord Death's voice actor) answering the question 'Who is Kid's mum?' asked by a Death the Kid cosplayer (I don't own it though), it's funny, but even though it's in English they put subtitles in just in case the video viewer couldn't hear what they were saying, and the subtitles may or may not ruin the joke before you hear them say it. IF you can survive that too, as well as the Roy Mustang 'I love dogs' and 'tiny miniskirt' lines, then you surely must do absolutely nothing with your life.)**

"And this is when she turned two!" Spirit pointed to another photo.

"AWWWW!" Hughes exclaimed. He pulled out another photo of Elicia. "This is Elicia eating apple pie! It's so cute how she's got the pastry on her face!~"

"Mh hmn!" Spirit nodded. "_Adowable_!"

"Check this out!" the Death Scythe flipped a page in his album and pointed to another picture. "Little Maka is angry!"

"Haha!" Hughes laughed. "She's puffing out her cute widdle cheeks!"

The Lieutenant Colonel then proceeded to show Spirit several pictures of Elicia eating and playing with a ball, while in return, Spirit showed Hughes some pictures of Maka on her six birthday, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh. In the picture of Maka's eighth birthday, the young Albarn girl was wearing a party hat and blowing a party whistle with a birthday cake in front of her, which made the two daughter-obsessed fathers, two grown men, squeal like Royai fangirls finding out that Royai was a cannon pairing. Spirit then flipped onto a page in his album with pictures of himself reading to his four-year-old Maka.

"So cute!" Maes cooed. "You're reading to Maka!"

"Yup!" Spirit smiled proudly. "Today, Maka loves to read books. She's practically a bookworm. I love to look back at her to when I used to read her stories and think of how good a papa I was for giving her that love of books that she has today! It makes me proud! She's the top of her class in tests, which makes me even more proud!"

Hughes than pulled out a picture but turned it so that the plain back was facing Spirit.

"Hey?!" the Albarn exclaimed. "Aren't you gonna show me the picture?" he reached out to take the photo off of Maes but the Amestrian just pulled it close to his chest so Spirit couldn't see it.

"Uh, uh u~uh!" Hughes teased. "No peekies~!"

Spirit urged him to. "Why aren't you showing me?!"

"Okay. I'm ready to show you." The Lieutenant Colonel answered. He slowly turned the picture around, that's when….

"OH MY GOSH THAT'S ADORABLE!" Spirit exclaimed with a squeal. It was a picture of Elicia in nappies **(A/N: Diapers) **with a dummy in her mouth and she was playing with a stuffed bear, hugging it with a cute and innocent look on her face. The Death Scythe was sick of sitting still. He got up, and twirled around like a dancer on short notice.

"Ahhhh!" he cooed. "Elicia Hughes… is SOOO~… CUUUUTE!"

Hughes joined in and they both sang that Elicia was cute. Suddenly, Spirit regained his soul's maturity and dignity as a man and he got serious. He then moved over to his photo album, on the chair and picked it up, flipping pages until he got to one of Maka's first visit to the park.

His new, bespectacled Amestrian friend gaped in awe at the picture. For one reason: there was NO chance that he could ever handle THAT sort of cuteness.

They started spinning around in happiness, the same thing as before, but this time saying: "Ahhhhh! Maka Albarn…is SOOO~… CUUUUTE!"

"OOH! Elicia playing with an old tin soldier!" Spirit exclaimed as Hughes showed him another picture. Maes pulled out another picture of Elicia. In the picture she was with a short, blonde, golden-eyed boy wearing a black 'vest' **(A/N: I think that's what it is)**, pants and a red trench coat with the alchemy flamel on the back. The boy also had gloves on his hands and was smirking in the photo with his hands clapped together. Spirit noticed that a bit of the boy's right arm in the photo was showing underneath his sleeve. It appeared to be… _metal_? Next to Elicia and the short boy was a 'man' who was 'wearing' a suit of armour, with the alchemy flamel on one of the shoulders of the armour. The armoured figure was ruffling Elicia's hair with one hand and making a peace sign with the other.

"Huh?" the Death Scythe asked. "Who are those two?"

"Oh, right!" Hughes answered. "They're Alchemists, the Elric brothers. They're pretty renowned in Amestris. The older brother, Edward, is a State Alchemist, the Fullmetal Alchemist; and is under Roy's command. His younger brother, Alphonse, is also an alchemist, but is not a member of the State. They're good alchemists and can perform Alchemy without a transmutation circle, which is something all normal alchemists need to use in order to perform alchemy. That alchemic technique is what got Ed certified as a State Alchemist. That's why he's got that pocket watch, the official State Alchemist pocket watch. You can see its chain hanging from his pocket in the photo. I'm not an alchemist. Roy is, so ask him if you want more info about alchemy."

"Is Fullmetal like Ed's codename or something?" Spirit asked. "Because Roy said the Flame Alchemist is his."

"Yup." Maes replied.

"Well I can see where he got the name Fullmetal." Spirit said. "After all, he _is_ wearing a giant suit of ar–"

Hughes' laugh interrupted the Death Scythe.

"No! No! No! No! No!" Maes said with a chuckle. "That's what everyone thinks at first sight, but the one in the armour is _actually _Al, the _younger_ brother! The older brother, Ed, is the blonde guy!"

"Seriously?!" Spirit gaped. "Then one, why is he called Fullmetal; and two, why is he a midget?"

"You know," Hughes said, "you and Ed have extremely similar voices! And to answer your questions. Firstly, he's called Fullmetal because he has metal prosthetic limbs called automail; he has an automail right arm and left leg. And secondly, nobody knows why Ed is so short, but the people that Ed knows all think it's because he doesn't drink milk. Either that, or his automail weighs him down and stops him from growing too much in height. But if you ever go to Amestris and see Ed in person, _never_ call him short, a runt, microscopic, half-pint, bean sprout, midget, half-pint bean sprout midget, little, tiny, flea, shrimp, tiny amoeba or anything along those lines; basically anything that could imply that he's small or vertically challenged. Because he absolutely _hates_ people bringing it up, and will lose his temper and attempt to brutally murder anyone who calls him anything meaning short. Ed and Al like spending time with Elicia."

"Anyway," Death Scythe changed the subject. He pointed to a picture in his album, "here is Maka with her mama when she was little."

"AWWW!" Hughes exclaimed. "So, _that's_ what her mother looks like?"

Spirit nodded and blushed. "Kami!"

The two of them started sharing even more cute pictures.

"Ooh!" Hughes grinned. "Take a look at _Eliciaaaaa_~!" in the picture, Maes was tickling his daughter under the arms. Spirit burst out laughing at Elicia's red cheeks in the photo and fell off his chair whilst still laughing.

The two continued to share photos of the precious and adorable daughters. Their chuckling and chatting was cut off, however, when a bell rang.

"Huh?" Maes raised an eyebrow while frozen in a position of holding up a picture of a one-year-old Elicia sleeping against her mother's chest, "What's that bell for?"

"It signifies the start of lunch." Spirit explained. "The students will be heading out of class now."

They continued to look at photos of their daughters.

IN THE DWMA CAFETERIA

Maka, Soul, Black Star, Tsubaki, Death the Kid, Liz, Patty and Crona were seated at a table and eating lunch. They were conversing with each other when Maka decided to bring up something with Kid.

"Hey Kid," The Albarn scythe meister said.

"What is it?" Kid asked.

"Why were you late for class?" Maka asked.

"Yeah," Tsubaki said, "I was worried. I'm sure everyone was a bit worried, right?"

Liz, Crona and Maka nodded in agreement to Tsubaki's statement while Patty just laughed, Soul just kept cool and Black Star boasted that "Worrying was too below a big star."

"So, why were you late?" Soul asked. "You gonna tell us or what?"

"Was it something important?" Maka asked.

Kid nodded and everyone looked at him, ready to listen.

"Well," the young reaper answered, "my father asked me to escort to the Death Room some people here for negotiations."

"People here for negotiations?" Liz repeated.

"Who were they?" Maka asked.

"They were people from the military of a foreign country called Amestris that is well-developed in Alchemy."

"Alchemy?" Tsubaki asked. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not very sure what it does exactly." Kid answered. "My father mentioned a little bit about alchemy to me. He said it was a science, so it's not actually magic. It revolves around the principle of equivalent exchange; that mankind cannot gain something without giving something in return. This basically means, I guess, that your input must be of the same mass or value as your output; I don't know. It is quite complicated, and involves learning the chemical structures of the object you're transmuting by analysing its structure, deconstructing the matter and reconstructing it into something else. That's all he told me, as well as that the military in that country, called the State, certifies skilled alchemists who pass an alchemy exam and become part of the State as State Alchemists. Two people were coming from Amestris to represent the State."

"Who were the people?" Maka asked.

"One of them has black hair and grey eyes. He's a State Alchemist, known as the Flame Alchemist; Colonel Roy Mustang. The second person isn't a State Alchemist, just a normal soldier or State member. From what he told me, he heads the research and investigation division in the State, and is known as Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. Maes has side-and-back-slicked black hair as well as hazel eyes and glasses. They're wearing the State uniform, which is blue. It is hard to describe what it looks like, but you can tell from sight that it's a military uniform." The young reaper answered.

"Okay." Maka nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"Also," Kid added, "I learnt a bit about how they act when talking to them. Roy is focused, serious and stern. **(A/N: Yeah, right! You haven't even seen the 'tiny miniskirts' or 'I love dogs' speeches yet, Kid!) **Hughes however, appears like he could be serious if he wanted, but is generally quite laid-back. He was scared of the guillotine gates on the way to the Death Room and even somewhat scared of me when he found out that I was a grim reaper and the son of Death himself."

"Guess he's not used to stuff like that where he's from." Liz said as she chowed down a slice of bread.

Kid nodded.

"Ha ha! That guy must be such a dumb coward!" Ragnarock remarked, coming out of Crona's back.

Maka shot the demon sword a threatening look which caused Ragnarock to roll his eyes and retreat back into Crona's body, bored about the conversation.

"S-sorry about Ragnarock." Crona stuttered, "He's m-more b-bored than usual."

"Nah, it's fine!" Patty chimed; then she looked over at the display food the cafeteria staff were putting out. "OOH! SIS THEY HAVE GIRAFFE SHAPED CHOCY-CHIP COOKIES! CAN I HAVE ONE PWEEEAAAASE?!" the younger Thompson sister made puppy dog eyes to her older sister.

"Okay," Liz said with a sigh, "But only three maximum, okay?"

Patty nodded eagerly. "Okie dokie sis." She said innocently. Then Liz went off to the cafeteria line with Patty following behind, bouncing like a puppy.

The eight of them (including Liz and Patty once they bought the cookies and sat back down) continued to talk through lunch in the cafeteria.

~ONE LUNCH TIME OF CHATTING AND PATTY EATING *munch munch* *speaks with mouth full* SURPRISINGLY REALLY GOOD GIRAFFE-SHAPED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES LATER

The eight friends ended their chatter and left the table to get their belongings ready for class. Maka was walking through the halls and pondered for a minute.

'What Kid was talking about in lunch. Alchemy and that country, Amestris, it sounds interesting. Maybe I should go to Amestris some time and start studying alchemy. I'm good with science and I'm a straight A student, I'm sure I could get someone to teach me. I learn very fast too. I'm sure getting a basic transmutation done shouldn't take more than half a week of studying.' She was cut out of her thoughts, however, when she bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry! I–" she began to apologize but she was silenced when she saw who she bumped into. The figure Maka bumped into was a man about her father's height. He had black hair with bangs that fell over his forehead and startling, sharp, dark-grey eyes. On his hands he had bleach-white gloves with patterned circles etched on them that reminded the scythe meister of magic circles and the man was in a blue, obviously-military uniform that had light grey on the borders. Maka immediately realized that the man was one of the Amestrian military officers that Kid described. She recognized the man out of the descriptions Kid gave her of both men. The military man put a hand on Maka's shoulder to help her steady.

"You're alright, I see miss." The man said, "Luckily."

"You're…" Maka blinked, "Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. That State Alchemist military officer from Amestris."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "You know about me?" he asked, "No one here knows much about people from Amestris. Have you travelled to Amestris before?"

"No, actually." Maka shook her head. "But I heard about you a while ago in lunch from my friend, Kid."

"Kid?" Roy asked, "You mean Death the Kid?"

Maka nodded. "He said he escorted you to the Death Room on the way here."

"I see. You're a friend of his." Roy said, "What's your name?"

"Ah! Of course!" Maka answered, "I'm Maka Albarn, one-star scythe meister, from the EAT class."

Roy raised an eyebrow again. "Albarn? Like that Death Scythe, Spirit Albarn?"

"Yes." Maka answered, glancing at the ground in annoyance, "Looks like you've already met my good-for-nothing papa." She spoke 'good-for-nothing papa' in a low and annoyed tone.

"So you're the daughter of Spirit that he was talking about to Hughes!" Mustang realized, remembering Spirit's reaction and addition to the conversation he had with Hughes when the Lieutenant Colonel showed him a picture of Gracia and Elicia.

"My papa was talking about me to the other officer who came with you, Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes?" Maka asked.

"Yes." Roy answered, "and let me guess, Death the Kid told you about Hughes as well?"

Maka nodded. "Just call him Kid. It's fine. By the way, you're a State Alchemist, and I just thought."

"Yes, what is it?" Mustang asked.

"I find the concept of alchemy very interesting," The scythe meister answered, "and I was wondering if there was any way I could study alchemy."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "You want to study alchemy?"

Maka nodded, and rubbed the back of her neck. "I don't like bragging or anything, but I'm the top of my class. I'm a straight-A student so everything is quite easy for me in class. I learn very well, love books and I do quite well in science, so I thought that taking a look at learning about alchemy might be useful and interesting."

"I see." The Amestrian Colonel thought for a few moments. "If you get time, you can travel to Amestris and borrow out books on Alchemy at a local library. Or you could get someone to teach you, though there aren't many people who actually _teach_ alchemy. Though one of my subordinates, a State Alchemist like me, the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, is your age. He's a prodigy in Alchemy and he doesn't mind helping people out at all. If you want, you could go to Amestris some time and see him or talk to him over the phone and see if he'll teach you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. But just be aware that if you _do _see him, don't call him short, little, tiny, beansprout, midget anything that means short or vertically-challenged otherwise he will lose his temper." **(A/N: Hypocrite! HE loves calling Ed short!)** Mustang pulled out from his pocket a small piece of paper and a pencil and wrote down a sequence of numbers on it. He handed the paper to Maka. "If you want to see him, you can contact him by this phone number."

"Okay, thanks." Maka put the paper in the pocket of her yellow sweater **(A/N: The one that she wears over her white-long sleeved shirt. It's more of a vest I guess because it doesn't have a collar or sleeves) **

"Well," Roy said, turning and starting to walk off, "I'm starting to wonder what Hughes is even doing. He said that he was going off to do something with your father and that he would meet me back at the front of the building but he didn't give any other details."

"Wait," Maka began before Mustang turned back around, "you said earlier that my papa was with Lieutenant Colonel Hughes talking about me. What exactly went on?"

"Well, I can tell you this," Roy replied, "Maes can get serious when he needs to, but most of the time he is laid back and can get a bit more than annoying. Reason being that he is absolutely obsessed with his wife Gracia and daughter Elicia. He carries around photos of them everywhere he goes and loves to show people pictures of them for no apparent reason other than what appears to be showing off his family. He showed a picture of his wife and daughter to your father who pulled out a picture of you and showed it to Hughes. I don't know where they are now though."

A tick mark formed on Maka's head. "Why he…" she growled.

"What grudge do you hold against your dad anyway?" Colonel Mustang asked.

"He is a pervert who can't help but flirt and he cheated all the time on my mama. I absolutely _hate_ his half-witted guts! My mama called a divorce. I look up to her so much. She defended herself so strong and sternly. She was practically the second-best meister to ever graduate from here, second to Professor Stein. She and Stein were also both Spirit's meisters, Stein was his first one and my mama second. Mama was the one who made my good-for-nothing papa into a Death Scythe." The pigtailed scythe meister answered. She turned and looked at Roy. "You're looking for Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, and you said that he went off with my papa right?"

"Yes," Roy answered "Why?"

"I have a special ability to see souls called Soul Perception." Maka explained, "It's a technique I got from my mama. Mine is quite advanced and I can see souls within a radius larger than Death City. I can also recognize the souls of people I know by looking at their personalities which are displayed through their souls. Hughes and my papa are both off somewhere in the same place; so if I find my papa's soul with my soul perception, I can pinpoint where he is and find him easily. Hughes will also be there with him."

"That sounds like a good idea." Mustang answered, "Besides, staying with you is probably the best thing I can do since I don't know this place and could easily get lost."

Maka nodded. "I'll look for their souls now." She closed her eyes, opened them again and focused. She glanced around the hall until she caught sight of Hughes and Spirit's souls. "Found them! They're this way." She walked in the direction of the two passionate fathers, Roy following behind. What Spirit didn't know, was that he really had something coming.

BACK TO SPIRIT AND HUGHES' BABY PHOTO GOODNESS

"Ooh!" Hughes was gaping in awe at a picture of a little toddler Maka playing with a pile of building blocks.

"_Oh yeah_?" Spirit looked at his Amestrian friend. He pulled out what appeared to be eight to ten photos and held them in his hands, fanned out like they were playing cards. "Little Maka TENFOLD!"

"Little Elicia tenfooolldd~" Hughes sang, doing the same as Spirit but with photos of Elicia. He made the infamous Medusa-Baby-Bloomers face "Cuute~".

"OOH!" Spirit squealed. "Elicia in Bloomers! How adorable! My Maka wore those when she was widdle! So cute and sweet widdle Baby Bloomers!" he also made the shiny-eyed face heavily notorious for making people dead through suffocation by laughing.

"What's she doing in that one?" he asked Hughes, pointing to one of the pictures.

"She was trying to practice some sort of movement thing that she started making up. I think it's supposed to be some sort of martial art. Elicia-te or A-do-rable."

Spirit giggled. "Really suits the names! It sure is cute! Love the word play! HAHA!"

They continued to search through photos. However, then…

Maka CHOP!

In the blink of an eye, Spirit was on the ground with blood comically spurting from his head while Hughes was staring in confusion and Maka was shooting her father a death glare, with a thick book in her hand.

"YOU IDIOT!" Maka roared. "WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THIS?!"

Spirit immediately went to the nearest emo corner, which just happened to be about five metres down to the end of the hallway (should've chosen a place further away). Maka stormed over to her father and growled at him, getting him out of the emo corner.

"I can't believe you! You idiot! You constantly flirted with other women when you already had my mama! You had to divorce mama on her call, then you go flirt with more women, try to then get my love back when you _still_ flirt, and now you're showing photos of me when I was young to a LIEUTENANT COLONEL of a FOREIGN MILITARY?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PERVERT?!" Maka gave Spirit another Maka-Chop to the head. Roy and Hughes looked on plainly, keeping out of an Albarn family feud, obviously by miracle having figured it out that soon, though it wasn't really a feud unless Spirit started 'fighting'.

Lord Death came down the hallway from the Death Room to see what Spirit and Hughes were doing; and when he got there, he heard the whole thing. Including Maka's mini rant:

"I can't believe you! You idiot! You constantly flirted with other women when you already had my mama! You had to divorce mama on her call, then you go flirt with more women, try to then get my love back when you _still_ flirt, and now you're showing photos of me when I was young to a LIEUTENANT COLONEL of a FOREIGN MILITARY?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PERVERT?!" the grim reaper went over to Roy and Hughes and looked at the two Albarns as well.

"What happened here?" Lord Death asked Roy.

"I'm not sure, but I think what Maka's shouting is self-explanatory." Roy answered.

"So you met Maka, hmm?" the reaper said, cocking his head to the side.

"That's what Maka acts like?" Hughes was surprised.

"Yes." Lord Death answered plainly. "You see, Maka and Spirit's family life and relationship are a _little_ bit… complicated. Maka is an EAT class student and one star scythe meister who has a special and rare grigori soul along with an anti-magic wavelength. It was her who defeated the powerful Kishin, Asura."

"I heard about that kishin." Roy said.

"Well, that's enough now! Maka!" Lord Death called to Maka, but she didn't hear him. Maka picked up the photo album, this time, shoved loose photos back in it and raised it above Spirit's head.

"Makaaaaaa…"

_CHOP!_

"He got OWNED dude!" Soul said quietly from behind the corner.

"FOOL! A father-daughter feud can have a tragic backstory! Do you want to wield me and receive glory?"

"No thanks, I'm a weapon, not a meister. Wait– What the hell?! Excalibur?!"

~WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY *BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP* SO TO FILL YOUR DAY UNTIL THIS DIFFICULTY IS FIXED, HERE IS A MONTAGE OF BLACK STAR FAILING~

Black Star is thrown up into the air by an enemy. "Hey look! I can fly!"

The assassin is trying to sneak up on Tsubaki at a hot spring mountain area. He climbs the wall, looks in at Tsubaki, but sees that she's in the water with only a towel wrapped around her and that the hot spring is full of NOTHING BUT GIRLS. The girls start panicking and screaming at the 'peeking tom'. Black Star starts shouting "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" but then Tsubaki, with an annoyed look on her face, throws a small shuriken at Black Star without even turning around and it hits the assassin square centre in the forehead. "If you want to be an assassin, you have to learn to _be quiet_!" She said in an annoyed tone. Black Star fell off the wall. The girls started praising Tsubaki. "Oh wow!" "Thanks so much!" "You're awesome!" "You got rid of the peeking tom so calmly!" Tsubaki started trying to tell the other girls that it was nothing at all. Black Star's muffled shout came from the other side of the wall.

"I'm okay!"

Soul and Black Star run to each other in slow motion (sadly their voices weren't slowed down. It would have been hilarious if they were). "Black Star!" "Oh Soul!" "Black Star!" "Oh Soul!" "Black Star!" "Oh Soul!" The two hugged with the utmost bromance they could muster for the fangirls but they didn't stay embracing for too long until… BANG! Kid shot the two of them down with the excuse of:

"Oops, sorry, my fingers slipped."

~TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY RESOLVED! BACK TO THE STORY!~

~Several hours later

Spirit was in bed in his apartment, holding an ice pack to his throbbing head.

"Ow." He whined lowly. "Makaaaa! Why do you hate your papa so?!" he looked at the phone. Hughes and Roy had gone on their flight back to Amestris an hour or so earlier. He also looked at a photo that he got taken with Hughes before he had headed home himself with his hurting head. He and Maes were both grinning.

'Now that you think about it, Maes and I _are_ a bit similar.' The Death Scythe realized. 'We both love our daughters so much. Ah, my wonderful Maka!~' Suddenly, a thought came to mind. After the incident with Maka, Roy explained his goal to become Fuhrer of the State and his promise that when he becomes Fuhrer, all female military officers will be required to wear tiny miniskirts. 'Hughes...' Spirit suddenly thought of something 'classified' and blood flowed from his nose like his nostrils were city flood gates.

'What the heck?! Where the hell did THAT thought come from?!'

ON THE FLIGHT BACK TO AMESTRIS

Hughes was staring out the window, watching the clouds pass by below him. Roy was sitting next to him, having a sip of Rumba Coffee (as he was recommended by a certain engineer from the DWMA Oceania branch).

'So Maka hates Spirit?' Maes thought. 'Man, poor guy. I should do something. I know!' suddenly he gained starry eyes.

Hours later, they touched down in Amestris, or more specifically, in the new Central Airport (it really amazed the two Amestrians how their country was starting to catch up in technology ever so slowly). Roy and Hughes got off the flight and were greeted by Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, Falman, Breda, Edward and Alphonse.

"Nice to see you're back. Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes." Hawkeye greeted, smiling at Roy. Roy was a little tinged with pink and greeted back "Yeah. We're back, Lieutenant."

The Colonel then smirked when he saw Edward, with Alphonse (still in the armour) standing next to his older brother.

"Nice to see you, Fullmetal." He looked at Ed. "Sorry, I nearly didn't see you there! You're just so little!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE PERSON YOU COULD SQUASH LIKE AN ANT?!" Ed shouted in fury, trying to hit the Colonel, but was being held back by Al. "DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"

Hughes turned around and ran.

"Hughes?" Roy looked at his friend, "What are you doing?"

"Going to use the phone!" Hughes called as he ran off.

**FINALLY! AFTER ALL THIS TIME, I FINALLY FINISHED IT! Sorry to all those I kept waiting! Please review with what you thought of the story, I would greatly appreciate it! And now since I finished this, I can also post chapter 1 of my Soul Eater/Ouran High School Host Club Xover called 'Secret of the New Host!' I'm looking forward to publishing it! I've had the entire first chapter of 'Secret of the New Host' written for over a month now and I've been waiting to finish some other stories so I wouldn't be putting too much pressure on writing my stories. So I may even get the chapter for 'Secret of the New Host' up in an hour or two! Chapters of my other fanfics will be coming soon too! Along with TWO FMA oneshots and the first chapter of my Soul Eater/Shinryaku! Ika Musume (Squid Girl) Xover which I can now announce is called 'Death the Squid' (which will be published only after the FMA oneshots are posted). I am also now working on a collaborated Soul Eater fanfic with NorthernMage called 'Too Twisted to be Home'. I wrote the first chapter of it and NorthernMage is currently writing chapter 2, but NorthernMage posted the story under her account, so you'll have to check her out to find the story 'Too Twisted to be Home'. I put a link to that collab fanfic on my profile.**

**I'm also sorry if this chapter isn't as humorous as the first one. I was starting to run out if ideas for jokes, but I DID manage to fit a little joke in at the end of Spirit's part (when he was in bed). Can you guess what 'dirty thought' Spirit was thinking about? Also, the ending may seem like it leaves a plot hole like 'What does Hughes want to do with the phone?', but the reason I've got that ending is because I am making a oneshot sequel to this later on! Maybe published along with the first chapter of 'Death the Squid', I'm not sure.**

**Anyways, Review and Favourite (this twoshot is complete, so following it after this chapter was posted is pretty silly. Unless you want to follow me as the author, which I'm not exactly sure, but may or may not alert you when I post a new story, which will include the 'Baby Photos' sequel).**

**This is Pokelolmc… OUT! *Poof***


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